pines punch

Invasion!

2010-08-03T23:47:00.001-04:00

The Invasion was a total smash this year - perfect weather and drunk, fabulous queens teetering through the harbor! Check out some of our favorite shots:

Acid Betty, Mistrix of Ceremonies

We spent most of the day hanging out with some fierce pregnant mommies headed to Lamaze class

and tasted a little strawberry shortcake.

xx,

Parker Pines

The Island of Misfit Boys Calendar

2010-06-18T01:45:00.000-04:00

Rarely do we endorse or advertise, but we couldn't pass on giving a major "CHANTE YOU STAY" to the new FIP calendar - The Island of Misfit Boys. Parker's fab friends - the always entertaining Jesse Archer and jetsetter Cooldan - have cooked up an amazing calendar for the summer. Not only does it list all the summer's happenings, it's a snarky yearbook for housemates and a fun way to keep tabs on all the summer's crazy, nasty happenings. Make sure to pick up a copy at Gostoso in the harbor!

jesse on the brink... of ass

xx,

Parker Pines

Roll Call at High Tea!

2010-05-26T22:21:00.003-04:00

Thanks to Savvy for snapping this royal hullabaloo!

(From left: Guinevere, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen of Chess, Queen Isabela of Spain, Queen of Hearts, Queen Latifah, Queen Mary Mother of God, Queen Elizabeth II, Queen Mum, Cleopatra, The Queen (Helen Mirren), Queen (Snow White), Queen Victoria, Freddie Mercury of Queen, Ice Queen, May Queen of Scots, Queen Nefertiti, Queen of Hearts)

Pines Punch Exclusive! Tour with the Triumvirate!

2010-05-16T22:10:00.007-04:00

The Triumvirate of Kirtzman, Weissman and Blesso gave Pines Punch an all-access, behind-the-scenes tour of the plans to come for the summer.

Here is the new pool area. That black room they are constructing is a DJ box (more like a DJ apartment, actually).

The gym is being moved behind the hotel, opening up a lot of deck space. This whole area will be converted to a lounge - perfect for poolside afternoon cocktails. It sounds like a Sunday afternoon party is in the works...

Kirtzman walks us through the plans.

Hot boy stretching it out in the gym.

Continue the tour after the jump...

Seth explains the design of the new bar at the Blue Whale.

An expanded bar will hopefully mean less of a wait for Planter's Punch at low tea.

Replacing Index is Maison 24, a Bridgehampton-based boutique.

with all sorts of fabulous gifts, furniture and accessories.

Our fave was this take on the classic Fire Island wagon.

We'll keep you posted as some of these projects are completed.

Matt Blesso mugs for the camera.

xx,

Parker Pines

The Manteen has arrived...

2010-05-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

Replacing the coffee shop is the chic Canteen (aka Manteen).

Which looks the same from the outside

But is totally remodeled inside. The space has been doubled with all new floors and fixtures and large, communal tables.

The rotating menu has some delicious sandwiches and flatbread pizzas.

Fiesta!

2010-05-10T22:14:00.009-04:00

The gents at 222 Pine hosted a muy caliente Ocho de Mayo Fiesta on Saturday.

Alexander McQueen tribute. Too soon?

A few shots of tequila and the boys were hitting the hot tub

Quinceanera realness from one of our hosts

The DIY tequila bar

Time for everyone's favorite game....

I bust the candy out your holes.

Time to bring in the real pinata expert, straight from LA.

Goldrush!!

Magnums and Jelly Beans!

xx,

Parker Pines

Summer is around the corner...

2010-04-18T16:49:00.005-04:00

We are counting down the days until summer! A couple of updates:

We hear that Jessica Resler (of VitoFun & Jessica fame) will be helping out as PR/promotions hostess on the island this summer. We love us some Jessica!

Steve Weinstein at the Edge caught up with Kirtzman, Weissman and Blesso (The Triumvirate) about plans for the harbor properties. Some of the highlights:

*Of course we all miss the old Pavilion, and Kirtzman hopes to reprogram the music [at the Pavilion] to a more traditional "Fire Island sound"; that is, upbeat and lyrical. "We’re going to address ourselves to the music," Kirtzman says. "The music has been too dark, too heavy, too oppressive. It’s Fire Island! Every Friday night should not sound like the Black Party."

The Pavilion of Lore

*The Triumvirate plans to connect the sound from the Pavilion to Blo lounge upstairs.
*Guy Smith is being hired as a lighting consultant, hopefully making the Pav look less like a racquetball court.
*The Botel will be transformed into "a beautiful, full-scale, proper, boutique-style hotel." Definitely not in 2010, though.
*The not-so-Fresh market will now become a General Store. The Liquor Store is moving to the old hardware store space.

See you in a few weeks!

xx,
Parker Pines

Spotted: Early beachgoer!

2010-03-27T14:17:00.003-04:00

This lovely lady was spotted on the beach in the Pines reserving her spot for the upcoming season! Thanks for the video, Savvy!

xx,
Parker

Poors & barefoot welcome!!

2010-03-25T22:12:00.013-04:00

FIP Ventures has officially closed the deal. Today's press release confirms several of the details and clears up some of rumor and innuendo from yesterday's NYT article. Pines Punch is happy to report that the Trail of Teas (Low, Middle, High) will remain intact and, more importantly, they won't raise the price of our goddamn Planters Punch. We're also happy to hear that they understand the plight of The Poors, and will let Parker go shopping and drinking barefoot. Will be interesting to see what they do with the pool area... in the words of RuPaul, "Don't Fuck It Up!"

Read the full press release after the jump.

FIRE ISLAND PINES, N.Y., March 25, 2010 /PRNewswire/ -- In the largest transaction in Fire Island history, investment group FIP Ventures announced the official purchase, for $17 million, of the vast majority of commercial property and establishments in Fire Island Pines, the internationally famous gay community. The assets purchased include the famed Pavilion nightclub complex, the Blue Whale and Bay Bar restaurants, the Hotel Ciel, a grocery store, gym and clothing store, as well as numerous retail spaces and residential properties.

The FIP Ventures team consists of Matthew Blesso, 36, president of Blesso Properties, an investor and developer of innovative high-end real estate in New York and abroad; Andrew Kirtzman, 48, one of New York’s best-known journalists and owner of The Madison Fire Island Pines, a high-end bed and breakfast, and Seth Weissman, 26, a Pines summer renter and a managing partner of Weissman Equities, a Manhattan-based real estate investment firm.

Fire Island Pines may be the best-known, most beloved gay community in the world. Each summer, thousands travel to the pristine beach community almost as a ritual while young gay renters and visitors flock to its famed dance clubs. Many homeowners are trend-setters and leaders in the media, finance, entertainment and fashion worlds.

Weissman, Blesso and Kirtzman have been busy preparing for the 2010 summer season. For the past several months, the three have been collecting input from a range of Pines community members, holding dinners with homeowners and renters to understand how to best improve and serve the community. The new owners have also met with the leaders of the Fire Island Pines Property Owners Association (FIPPOA).

“The Pines is a small town with a cosmopolitan feel,” said Kirtzman, who has spent nearly every summer of his life on Fire Island. “It has its own traditions and its own culture. There’s an expectation that you can walk barefoot into stores and restaurants and yet experience a professional level of service and quality. That’s going to be our expectation as well.”

Weissman, Blesso and Kirtzman plan to leave major Pines institutions untouched (such as Low, Middle and High Tea) and refrain from raising prices at their bars and clubs. They also plan to restore some beloved community traditions that have fallen by the wayside in recent years: They are restoring the grand hotel pool deck on which the properties’ legendary owner John Whyte once hosted famous entertainers and fashion shows; they plan to make physical and technical improvements to the Pavilion, perhaps the best-known gay dance club in the world. And they plan to dramatically raise the quality and service of the Blue Whale Restaurant, which for years was known as Fire Island’s finest restaurant.

The new owners have brought in the owners of Almond restaurants in the New York Flatiron district and Bridgehampton, two acclaimed establishments with considerable gay followings. The owners, Jason Weiner and Eric Lemonides, run their Manhattan location in collaboration with restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow.

The three owners are also designing a complete renovation of the hotel this fall, with the re-opening set for May, 2011. “The Hotel Ciel is the most visible property when people arrive in the community on the ferry,” stated Blesso. “Our aim is to transform it with a spectacular new design, so it serves as a welcoming beacon to residents and visitors.” Blesso will spearhead the renovation, assisted by award-winning architect Andrea Steele. Blesso and Steele have collaborated on seven projects in the past.

“The improvements we plan are geared towards all parts of the community,” said Blesso. “There are very affluent people in the Pines, but there are also a lot of young gays who come here without a fortune to spend. That mix is a big part of the unique character of the Pines, and we intend to encourage it.” The new owners bring to the project a track record of successful investments, an award-winning design sensibility and a deep history in and knowledge of the Pines.

NYT on FIP Ventures

2010-03-23T21:59:00.006-04:00

The New York Times Real Estate section is running a piece on the FIP Ventures sale. The most choice quote from the article is actually pulled directly from the prospectus, which describes the Botel as "ripe for repositioning." As for the future of the Blue Whale, the article suggests that the owners of Almond in Bridgehampton (where Hamptons gays get sloshed on Friday nights) will be running the Blue Whale. In particularly poor taste in the article was the description of the news of the sale "spread[ing] like wildfire." Ummm, too soon?

FIP Ventures, the new generation

2010-01-20T10:29:00.008-05:00

GREAT NEWS BOYS! We have received the official press release on the purchase. We couldn't be happier for the new owners! Cheers to a new era!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Statement from FIP Ventures LLC

January 21, 2010 – Investment group FIP Ventures has signed a contract to purchase the vast majority of commercial establishments in Fire Island Pines, the internationally-famous gay community.

The group is purchasing the assets of Pines Commercial Properties, including the famed Pavilion nightclub complex, the Blue Whale and Bay Bar restaurants, the Hotel Ciel, a grocery store, gym, clothing store and numerous retail outlets and residential properties. The deal is expected to close in March.

The FIP Ventures team consists of Seth Weissman, 26, a Pines summer renter and a managing partner of Weissman Equities, a Manhattan-based real estate investment firm; Matthew Blesso, 36, president of Blesso Properties, a developer of innovative high-end real estate in New York and abroad, and Andrew Kirtzman, 48, a veteran New York City journalist, author, Fire Island Pines homeowner and owner of The Madison Fire Island Pines.

The FIP Ventures team is a diverse group of highly-accomplished professionals whose combined experience will ensure the continuing success of the Fire Island Pines.

Blesso, a creative and socially-conscious developer, has garnered numerous design awards, including an American Institute Architects New York State Award of Excellence in 2009. “I’m thrilled our team is acquiring this storied group of assets. This purchase allows us to employ unique designs and concepts and build upon a great tradition,” he said.

Kirtzman, the former host of “Kirtzman and Co.” on WCBS-TV and “Inside City Hall” on New York 1 News, got his start in journalism as co-founder of The Fire Island Villager, which he began publishing at the age of 17. In 2007, he opened a high-end guest house in the Pines called The Madison Fire Island Pines.

“The Pines is both a chic international destination and a small town, with its own long-standing traditions,” said Kirtzman, who has spent virtually every summer of his life in Fire Island. “We’re intent on preserving the very qualities that make the Pines unique.”

Weissman, named one of Real Estate New York’s “Thirty Under Thirty” people to watch in 2008 and former Goldman Sachs investment banker, said, “This is a community with some of the most accomplished, affluent and creative figures in the gay community. They demand a high level of services and amenities and we will give it to them.”

Further details of the transaction and a description of the purchaser's plans will not be released until the acquisition is complete.

More detailed bios of the Triumvirate after the jump...

Here are more complete bios of the owners:
MATTHEW BLESSO

Matthew Blesso is President and Founder of Blesso Properties, a New York-based innovative, socially-conscious development company established in 1998.

The firm has developed nine projects including a 12-story loft building, a $9.4MM Greenwich Village townhouse and a boutique hotel in Panama. The firm’s projects have garnered six design awards and set numerous sales price records.

The company prides itself in identifying unique investment opportunities and executing creative designs. The company’s projects have garnered tremendous interest and have been featured in The New York Times, Interior Design, Le Figaro, The New Yorker, International Architecture and Design, Bloomberg TV, New York Living, and International Homes among many others.

Blesso Properties is also committed to being socially responsible. The firm incorporates sustainable practices into all of its projects and donates a portion of the profits of each project to philanthropic causes. To date, the company has donated in excess of $200,000 and Matthew currently serves on five non-profit Boards.

Blesso,36, was born and raised in Paterson New Jersey. He currently resides in Noho.

ANDREW KIRTZMAN

New Yorkers know Andrew Kirtzman as the former host of the political shows “Kirtzman and Co.” on WCBS-TV and “Inside City Hall” on New York 1 News, and as the author of best-selling books about Bernie Madoff and Rudy Giuliani.

But residents of Fire Island Pines know Andrew as the owner of The Madison Fire Island Pines, a high-end guest house, and as a long-time homeowner. Kirtzman has spent almost every summer of his life in Fire Island; he got his start in journalism as the co-founder of The Ocean Beach Villager (later the Fire Island Villager) at the age of 17.

Kirtzman has covered more than a dozen national political campaigns for print and television. He has spent months at a time reporting abroad, covering the fallout from the Iraq war in Israel, Gaza and the West Bank. In September 1999, Brill's Content magazine named Kirtzman one of New York's 10 Most Influential Journalists.

In 2009, Harper Collins published Kirtzman’s second book, “Betrayal: The Life and Lies of Bernie Madoff,” a biography of the man who perpetrated the most sweeping financial crime in history. The book was a New York Times best-seller.

In 2000, Harper Collins published "Rudy Giuliani: Emperor of The City," which chronicled the mayor’s attempt to turn New York around through the sheer force of his will, and the often ruthless tactics he used to accomplish his goals. Kirtzman was with Giuliani on the morning of September 11, and wrote an additional chapter for the paperback version of the book with a first-person account of the mayor’s handling of the crisis. The hardcover and paperback versions sold almost 30,000 copies.

Kirtzman came to WCBS-TV in 2002. In 2003, his week-in-review feature “Kirtzman’s Column” won an Emmy award for outstanding political programming. His weekly Sunday morning television show “Kirtzman and Co.” on WCBS-TV was required viewing for the city’s political junkies and a rite of passage for political candidates and elected officials. While at WCBS, he chronicled the 2008 presidential primaries in reports for the station, The Washington Post and CBSNews.com.

Kirtzman came to WCBS from New York 1 News, for which he anchored the nightly political show "Inside City Hall.” During that time, he also wrote a bi-weekly column for New York Magazine.

Previously, Kirtzman served as a government reporter for the New York Daily News, an investigative reporter for the Houston Post and city editor of the Hudson Dispatch in New Jersey.Kirtzman attended the University of Pennsylvania, where he served as executive editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian, and received his degree in journalism from NYU.

Kirtzman, 48, is married to Kyle Froman, a dance photographer and former member of the New York City Ballet. He was born and raised on Manhattan's Lower East Side, and currently resides in Noho.

SETH WEISSMAN

Seth is a Managing Partner of Weissman Equities, a real estate investment firm focused on value-added investments. Prior to co-founding Weissman Equities with his brother Matthew, Seth worked in the real estate private equity group of Perry Capital, a $15 billion multi-strategy hedge fund.

At Perry, Seth handled the underwriting of equity and debt investments across multiple asset classes. Seth was responsible for more than $400 million worth of transactions representing over 2 million square feet of office, multi-family, hospitality, and retail space. Seth was also responsible for the “hard money” and bridge lending platform which provided short-term loans on real estate assets throughout the United States.

Seth worked on hotel and mixed-used deals in the United States and Mexico, including both traditional hotel deals and hybrid condo-hotels and luxury time shares in New York, Florida, California and Mexico. He provided financing for several mid-scale hospitality projects ranging from the Point Breeze on Nantucket to the firm’s $50 million investment in Exclusive Resorts (http://www.exclusiveresorts.com/), a luxury destination club, and Equinox Fitness, a luxury fitness company with 150,000 members and 45 clubs throughout the U.S.

Seth serves on the Victory Campaign Board of the Victory Fund, a group which works to elect openly-gay candidates to public office,
as well as on the Young Friend’s of Mount Sinai.

He earned his BS in Economics from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. In 2008, Real Estate New York named Seth one of their “30 Under 30” rising stars of commercial real estate.

Seth, 26, spends his summers as a renter in Fire Island Pines. He currently resides in Gramercy Park.

Counting down until the summer!

xx,

Parker

Invasion 2009!

2009-07-18T00:22:00.011-04:00

The King and I, Kansas City cast

mischa barton, pre-rehab?

contestants from "rock of love"

how topical

mom, what are you doing here?!?!

senator graham?!

portia... an interesting choice

the golden girls - thank you for being a friend

wow

miss invasion from last year still wearing that ribbon

ms phallicia

was doin' it

omg, chita, stop sleeping in that tanning bed

renaissance faire NIGHTMARE

plant it, pot it, werq it

our annual "this is a real woman, right?" shot

and this certainly is not

chim chiminey

meet my friends... the body fuzion girls

shut.it.down

floor show!

somebody's done this before...

caption contest...

our fave, by far

x,
Parker Pines

IndepenDance at Reflections - Come Fly With Us...

2009-06-29T12:16:00.005-04:00

You know we love a good house party. And the boys at Reflections always throw one of the best parties of the season. Hope to see you all there this Friday!

xx,

Parker Pines

Betzy with a Z!

2009-06-17T23:15:00.007-04:00

Parker's dear, young friend Betzy made a glorious return to the Pines. And don't call it a comeback.

We met up with Betzy for a pre-tea cocktail at Reflections

and predictably she took right to the humps!

Betzy likes to drink a little, and ended up completely sloshed at tea

And Betzy likes to close down tea, so we left her in a drunken haze

and later found her on the beach looking for her hoop earring

A few shots of tequila and she was back in rare form

And even saw us off the next morning! Hurry back, Betzy! Your fans can't wait another year...

xx,

Parker Pines

Rough night at the Pavilion

2009-06-08T23:16:00.003-04:00

Will be updating the blog soon, boys!

xx,

Parker Pines

Memorial Day!

2009-05-27T22:44:00.011-04:00

Summer has officially arrived!!

Madame Chloe

hip boys in hats

no, we won't check your underwear

Kevin Graves

All Pines Queens enjoy the occasional romp in Cherry Grove...

Off to Daniel Nardicio's underwear party for BrokeStraightGuys.com

Enough for a quarter share in the Grove?

Ummm, yeah. Straight.

Corona? Straight. "Faded" tattoo on abs? Hmmm....

A few more shots of the Fire on Bay & Holly

check out the pool

Daytrippers

See you this weekend!

x,
Parker Pines

Fire in the Pines!

2009-05-21T09:43:00.004-04:00

Towleroad just broke the news about a fire on Bay Walk. According to Towleroad, "the homes at 244 and 245 Baywalk were destroyed and the blaze was still smoldering early Thursday. No injuries were reported..."

We'll be out there this weekend, so more information to come...

UPDATE and photo from Savvy: Savvy is disappointed over the loss of two homes in the Pines! Fire fighters bravely battled the fire the best way they could... but failed to save the house next door (house next to that had some damage - melted skylights). The fire was seen all the way to the mainland.... Savvy is shocked for words...

Iced Tea

2009-05-06T23:51:00.019-04:00

It was the first weekend of May and the boys were out in full force...

Rude!

Piping Plover shish kabobs, anyone?

We headed to the Derby Party at Slip n Hurl.

This crew of green hats was giving us derby realness

Kandahar chic

Off to Low Tea (aka Iced Tea)

swine flu - what's that?

fierceness is always welcome

housemate ice breaker

as for bartenders.... some familiar faces

and some fresh meat. meet ger. best known from his work at "score" in miami.

xavier thought bubble: "wow these queens are even messier than at the ritz"

Looking forward to an amazing season! See you Memorial Day weekend!!

xx,

Parker Pines

Pre-Season Update

2009-04-22T20:48:00.014-04:00

Summer is upon us and we've got some good news. The FIPPOA folks undertook a massive beach replenishment project this winter. Pines Punch correspondent SAVVY took these shots of the process. The pipes suck the silt from the bottom of the ocean about half a mile offshore and pile it up on different parts of the beach. Break out those metal detectors - maybe we'll find that fake Rolex we lost in 1994 or that bathing suit from 2 summers ago.

***

To get us all fired up for the summer, the boys of 243 Bay
hosted a pre-season party at Keiko Men in Chelsea.

We downed delicious vodka-strawberry cocktails,

flirted with the bartender,

modeled this season's looks

and got some personal tips from Keiko on how to work the bikini cut.

See you in the Pines this weekend!

xx,
Parker Pines

Ascension Weekend 2008!

2008-08-20T21:44:00.019-04:00

What a weekend, boys! We started off with the Float Pool Party on Beach Hill on Saturday...

Kimberly S kept us moving with an oh-so-morabito set

Luxuriating poolside!

this chica went right for the prize

cute boys

we couldn't figure out what this was, but the queens were eating it up

House of LaBeija

united colors of benetton

is it in?!

with such little clothing on, sunglasses are all the boys had to accessorize...

don't get it twisted

bette davis eyes

don't make me take my weave off!

synchronized divers representing the isle of fire

Overall, totally worth the $30 (or the quick hop over the fence). Later that night, we headed to the new auditorium for DEBORAH COX. She was gushing about the cute deer on the island (at a concert benefiting the Lyme Disease Prevention Fund). How precious!

It was like a damn circuit party in the Brandon Fradd Theater! She totally turned it out!

The Ascension Party was MAJOR! Perfect weather, music and boys...

LEEETTTT the sun shine!

chris cox, dj extraordinaire

honey, you've got something on your lips

bahia boys

ariel, the little mermaid

michael, what's that on your finger?

v.i.p.

diet red bull and diet coke

cali-chic

she's a modest one

mama cass working the tamborine

where is the black party?

an ambassador from beijing

Ladies with an attitude...

Fellas that were in the mood...

Don't just stand there, let's get to it...

Strike a pose, there's nothing to it...

VOGUE!

See you this weekend!

x,
Parker Pines

Playboyz & Punch

2008-08-05T23:22:00.008-04:00

Hey boys - this past Saturday we checked out the Annual Playboys Party at 458 Ocean, which is basically in Water Island, but was well worth the hike. All the bunnies were certainly on display...

3 levels of fierce, frisky fun

and corey craig as cruise director

the queens were queuing up for their free absolut

and before you could say centerfold, the boys took to the pool

i'm ready for my close-up

this guy was trying to get everyone to do the macarena

and this one jumped right in!!

some people couldn't wait to use the bathroom & opted for the hot tub

kate pierson from the B-52s showed up

carson kressley showed up with his boytoy

is an orgy four or five?

See you this weekend!

x,

Parker Pines

Let the Games Begin...

2008-07-17T23:49:00.021-04:00

The IndenDANCE party at Reflections was even hotter than last year. Tracy Young and 700 hot boys packed into the big white house on the bay for an Olympic-themed fete.

Bring it...

gold medal in abs

heavy medal

gold medal in go-go

gold medal in ferocia

full nelson on the rocks

137 beach hill represent!

gold medal in matching separates

the bartenders were boyfriends - at least they told us that for a tip

screw the gold medal, it's all about chain mail

gold medal in rhythmic gymnastics

fire island triathlete - drink, dance, pose

united nations of gay

gold medal in fist waving

oh you just wait for their party...

gold medal in heyyy!

gold medal in breaststroke

gold medal in WORK

gold medal for being the only girl at the party

take that back - this chick won the silver

no this isn't the folsom street fair - it's the chocolate fondue fountain in the VIP lounge

x,
Parker Pines

Invasion!

2008-07-14T23:44:00.015-04:00

Hey boys,

This year's invasion was truly a hot tranny mess! Here are some of our favorite looks...

here comes the ferry....

Kathy Hilton?

how trashy

ugly betty finally took a vacation day

la lohan

pines polygamists... LUV the mormon mommies!!!

serena van der woodsen & ferocia jackson on their way to the pantry

the loreal paris makeup room

and the tresemme hair salon

michelle obama with barbara bush/betty ford/cindymccain (?) in the background

the white lil' kim

actually, THIS is barbara bush (with lauren, drinking a corona)

nacha libra

the wino, of course

we think this is a real woman, right?

everything from colombia is white

WORK!

Her name was Lola...

she wore a headress

and a lot of Brazilian attitude! (miss invasion 2008, btw)

michael alig and james st. james

reminds us of our last trip to dubai

golddiggers

debbie (i mean, deborah) gibson?

candice cameron?

oh lord

i hear you take credit cards now

dusty in memphis

annette funicello making a cameo at twilo

danny devito (or rhea perlman?) does drag

remember the misfits from jem and the holograms?

well.... they did poppers

and stripped for free sip n' twirl drink tickets!

qantas flight 150 from lax to syd

12 STEP BY 12 STEP - Whitney, when did you get out of rehab, girl!?!

and on a closing note, miss invasion 2008! in all honesty, she was working it out. look at this pic of her trying to get a free drink...

SCUSE ME, COMING THROUGH!!!

Parker Pines

IndepenDANCE at Reflections

2008-07-01T18:08:00.004-04:00

Pines Punch hopes to see y'all at Reflections this Saturday, July 5th!

http://www.independancefi.com/

Parker Pines

F*ck tha police!

2008-06-25T22:46:00.014-04:00

Hey boys - some good news and some bad news. Let's start with the bad. As I'm sure you've all heard by now, the po-pos shook down some poor souls trying to get a little nookie in the Meat Rack this past weekend. All we have to say is, get off our island! We're just gonna keep on keepin' on!

And in better news, HX magazine named Pines Punch "Site of the Week" in its June 20 issue! Thanks, boys! Nice to know that the gay publishing mafia is smiling down on us. We've now got our sights set on a Pulitzer.

To celebrate our HX nod, we headed out to the isle in a Bachelorette-style stretch limo (complete with lasers and strobe lights), stocked it with Bollinger and Stoli (Bolli-Stoli, darling!) and whooped it up on the LIE.

Low tea on Saturday was, quite simply, fierce.

Our new Poster Boy!

Fellow blogger Z and his boyZ

Don't fall into the harbor!

These boys invited us up to the VIP lounge

where we said hi to some friends.

Hey boys - when is Next mag naming us blog of the week?!

The new gym is coming along, um, swimmingly. Expected opening... July 4th, 2011!!
By all means, move at a glacial pace - you know how that thrills us.

Off to Middle Tea, we ran into Michael Lucas and his gaggle.
Celebs - they're just like us!

And witnessed a fire island bris.

Vito Fun was killin' with the classics!

Like Rihanna's "Umbrella"

And TLC's "Red Light Special"

He's got some loyal fans

Bring it ON!

Who wore it better?

Sing it, girl!

Woof!

We outta here!

See you this weekend!

x,
Parker Pines

HEAT WAVE

2008-06-10T23:12:00.024-04:00

We'll get the shakes if we don't start drinking as the train pulls out of Penn Station, so we snagged a chilled bottle of rose for the train to Babylon. Too bad we forgot the corkscrew. But you think that'd stop a bunch of determined queens? Hell no.... we got all MacGyver and before we hit Jamaica, we had scooped that cork out with a key.

Success! And who says the LIRR isn't a first class experience?

What better way to start off a weekend in the Pines than stripping down and getting drunk?

With Brooklyn's finest, Larry Tee, casting his spell.

And plenty of fierce underwear...

What does it take to get a vodka stinger around here?!

a good hipster never smiles

***

Saturday was a lovely beach day ...

and we enjoyed some sashimi on the beach

before heading off to Patrick's party on Midway

Our fabulous host, holding court,

and modeling House of Duffy's latest -- layered sunglasses.

no she di'int!?!

oh yes I did!!

heyyyy!

models - dis is a competition for you, too

did we miss the Jitney to Southampton?

off to low tea, where the Ronkonkoma High School varsity swim team was bartending.

See you this weekend!

x,
Parker Pines

Work it Out, Bambi!: A Tribute to our Wildlife

2008-06-06T01:28:00.006-04:00

Give momma a kiss!

The tick-free beauties of the Pines.

See you this weekend!

x,

Parker Pines

Adios May, Hello June

2008-06-02T23:52:00.010-04:00

First off, can we just say that we're totally over this dreary weather. We certainly didn't drop four months' rent and starve ourselves since Easter to sit around our house in a hoodie all day. Help a gay man out, Mutha Nature! But the forecast for this coming weekend is lookin much better, so it's time to say adios to May and hello to June.

Of course, we made the best of our overcast Saturday by hitting up tea early. Those queens were gettin' a little stir-crazy from all the rain and turned out to Low Tea in droves.

We hit the bar where Sebastian poured us a few cocktails.

Meet The Britney: 1 part Absolut Citron, 1 part lemonade, 1 part peyote.

One too many Britneys?

Drunk shopping is our favorite pastime.

DJ David Marc gives us butterflies in our stomach. And he was turning it OUT!

Trail of Teas

See you this weekend!

x,
Parker Pines

Happy Memorial Day!!!

2008-05-27T22:36:00.027-04:00

The season has officially started!!
We had a ball (or two) at Craig's birthday. Check out this wardrobe malfunction...

The Hot Pink party was certainly Hot

pretty in pink

Off to Tea... Smile boys!

parker had enough of tea and was off to the beach...

we can tell who wears the pants in this relationship

looks like it was underwear weekend at the beach

parker went to join the volley-boys

this blowfish outfit was major.

See you this weekend!!

x,
Parker Pines

2008-05-14T21:49:00.018-04:00

It was another cold and gin-soaked pre-season weekend in the Pines. Parker spent Saturday catching up on back issues of TigerBeat and Honcho and smoking Gauloises by the pool. Alas, it was time to meet his friends at Blow Lounge

Parker made his way down the Boulevard, sporting his sportiest hoodie and stopping to check out boys on carts, when just as he reached the harbor.... THUD!!

Parker caught his foot on that trainwreck of a boardwalk (thanks FIPPOA!) and faceplanted in the wood chip planter.

Parker's Fire Island memories starting rushing back into his head - he was having a Fire Island flashback!

His first love...

His first circuit party on the Island, Cowboys of the Sea. How ferocia does he look, gurl?!

His mother's first visit to the island

hook ups he'd like to remember...

and hook ups he'd rather forget...

when suddenly, he was awakened by his fairy drag-mother, Betzy with a Z...

who handed him a jack n' coke and dragged his ass to blow lounge. Thanks Betzy!!

Looking forward to a warm and salty Memorial Day weekend...

x,
Parker Pines

Mint Juleps + Margaritas

2008-05-04T18:00:00.014-04:00

It was Parker's first weekend of what's potentially going to be the BEST SUMMER EVA in the Pines! And what better way to kick things off than celebrating everyone's favorite excuse-to-get-wasted holidays - Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo.

Derby Party at the newly revamped Slip 'n Hurl.

Queen munching on free carbs - it's not bathing suit season yet.

Zach Morris was blocking Parker's view of the race.

The new VIP lounge at Sit n' Spin. A sensible Laura Ashley print would've been better for hiding vomit stains on those sofas.

We broke out our cha-cha heels for a Cinco de Mayo Low Tea . Hey, who's the new bartender?

But the empty deck started to worry us, so we headed inside.

His Royal Fierceness, Corey Craig, manning the decks.

The new urinals are so very WeHo.

This guy wanted to add a little salsa picante to the party and reached for the nearest maracas.

These boys got inspired.

And before we could click our cha-cha heels three times, Low Tea was slamming.

Ron Perkhov (of Ascension Party "Live Love Dance" fame) talking shop with Corey.

And what would Tea be without fan dancers?!

Off to High Tea...

where the gays were shirtless despite arctic temperatures.

See you boys this weekend!!
x,
Parker Pines

Howdy!

2007-12-07T22:32:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Pines Punch! We look forward to spending an amazing summer 2008 with you in the glamorous Fire Island Pines.

stay tuned...

x,
parker pines